Save money, go bald


Filament Hair Salon

Caption: A new trend begins to sweep the nation, and critics refer to it as “the best trend in history”. Members of society should all ditch their hair to reclaim their inner beauty and save money this spring and summer season. If our society works together this trend can become the new beauty standard.

Hannah Cuthbertson, Reporter

As a new trend crazes the globe, critics refer to it as the most realistic, efficient, and practical trend society has promoted. Men and women all over now decide to ditch their hair and let their scalp get some air. 

“I love being bald! I save so much money on hair products, including shampoo and conditioner. I can just wash my head with body wash! I might be a millionaire, but budgeting is still very important to me,” retired NBA player, Shaquille O’Neal said. 

Several pros that come with ditching your hair include money saving. Why spend money on shampoo, straighteners, curlers, hair-ties, and all other hair products when people could take advantage of the option to shave it off? With the extra money, students and other members of society can save for college, go on trips, buy hot air balloons, and much more!

Along with saving money, baldness shows courage, confidence, and natural beauty. Hair will no longer get in the way of fashionable hats. Also, those who take part in the trend can customize their scalp with stickers, gems, or even paint! The possibilities never end when a person decides to ditch their hair.

“I can’t wait to shave my head! I bought the perfect race car stickers to customize my scalp. I’m going to be the coolest kid in school,” junior Brandon Rice said. 

Famous hair stylist Edna Mode spoke on the subject, saying she would love it if people went bald. Hair salons have struggled to keep up during covid, and more people going bald would ease hair stylist’s stress all over the world.

“Bald is beautiful, and it would save me a lot of time. As for business, we could start selling scalp products and jewelry, it would open a new door in the hair world. One I am very excited to step through,” Mode said. 

Other hair stylists agree with Mode, urging people to follow this trend over any others. Professionals, similar to Mode and her allies, push for this trend to stick and become the new normal rather than a quick passing craze. It would improve the lives of every person involved, and society should excitedly give back to their community by participating.

So, as students and others prepare for this summer, they should buy a hair razor along with their bathing suits. The world begins to change and our society embraces bald scalps. This covid season, bald becomes the beauty standard, why waste this opportunity? Everyone should let their scalps breathe. Embrace one’s natural beauty; save money, go bald. 

April Fool’s, you fool!


The Chant