Anabel Tastes the Seasons: Winter 2015

As+she+tastes+the+Trader+Joe%E2%80%99s+Candy+Cane+Joe-Joe%E2%80%99s%2C+Anabel+reacts+with+disgust.

Kat Shambaugh

As she tastes the Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s, Anabel reacts with disgust.

Anabel Prince, News copy editor

Let us rejoice! The most undeniably wonderful time of year has sprung once again and I am of the belief that every delicious cup of hot chocolate deserves an equally tasty holiday snack by its side. Can this year’s Christmas offerings top last season’s?

Christmas-themed DOTS disappoint with their vague and boring taste.

Kat Shambaugh
Christmas-themed DOTS disappoint with their vague and boring taste.

DOTS:

While DOTS do not hold a spot on my list of favorite candies, I usually find them tolerable. This box consisted of cherry and lime flavored pieces with a vanilla flavored accent (because apparently vanilla equals Christmas). The weird fruit vanilla hybrid creations actually did not taste too terrible compared to the rest of the items I endured. If a friend offered me a few of these, sure, I would say yes. But I definitely would not purchase them again.

Twizzlers:

As the classic cherry pull n’ peel Twizzlers never fail to satisfy my sweet tooth, I felt most excited to try these. A swirl of cherry, green apple, and lemonade strings, I expected my first bite to be rendevous of flavors, not an underwhelming taste of sweet plastic. If I am being honest, Twizzlers always remind me of sweet plastic, which these only enhance in a deeply disappointing way. Even eating the flavors separately, I could not detect which was which. Be warned: this snack puts the Twizzlers name to absolute shame.

Lindor Truffles:  

At 50 cents a piece, I knew these white chocolate truffles had to pack some sort of holiday punch. Upon trying them, I realized why Lindor sells these two to a pack: this is some of the richest chocolate I’ve ever tried. After eating a single truffle I felt fully satisfied, making these perfect to share with a friend.

 Anabel tries Christmas Gingerbread Peeps, a new spin on a holiday favorite.

Kat Shambaugh
Anabel tries Christmas Gingerbread Peeps, a new spin on a holiday favorite.

Gingerbread Peeps:

As always, I have nothing but complaints when it comes to Peeps. I do not even know why I keep trying these. I hate marshmallows, which is never going to change. In addition to peppermint flavored snowman shaped fluff, the Peeps family welcomes a new member this year: gingerbread men, that contrary to popular thought, do not even include gingerbread marshmallow filling. Only the sugar on the outside is “gingerbread” flavored (aka barely cinnamon-y). I feel absolutely outraged over this abomination of a Christmas treat. But what else did I expect?

Bark Thins:

Just when I felt certainly positive that all Christmas cheer in the world vanished, Bark Thins Dark Chocolate Peppermint Pretzel “snacking” chocolate swooped in to save the day. I could honestly eat this entire bag, if not for the $4 price tag. Despite their high cost, they stand the only food I tried that I highly recommend.

Anabel shows off the Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s, which turned out less impressive than first expected. Various comments reported that the cookies taste like dog treats, cardboard, and toothpaste.

Kat Shambaugh
Anabel shows off the Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s, which turned out less impressive than first expected. Various comments reported that the cookies taste like dog treats, cardboard, and toothpaste.

Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe Joes:

Oreos. Peppermint. What could go wrong? LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Upon trying these, I took a seat on a holiday rollercoaster that had nowhere to go but downhill.

When I say the creme filling in these cookie sandwiches tastes like toothpaste, I am 100% not making an understatement. After recovering from the crime scene that just occurred on my taste buds, the cookie left a weird texture in my mouth. Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe Joe’s provide such a horrendous experience I would not even recommend them as a gag gift for the worst of enemies.

Hershey’s Candy Cane Chocolate Bar:

Ending on a positive note, this classic holiday treat left me seeing the world as an overall not so terrible place. The mix of white chocolate with a subtle peppermint flavor reminded me of the holiday cheer that exists in this beautiful time of year. Merry Christmas, everyone.

 

The Chant’s grade: C-