Two peas in a pod: Opposites attract for sibling bonds
December 16, 2016
Siblings may, most of the time, seem ridiculously annoying to one another with no purpose other than to serve as a scapegoat, but with time, siblings can appreciate their unique traits and allow communication to continually grow into becoming soul siblings.
People run from their problems, and while running, they tend to push family members away without realizing how difficulties only worsen when not addressed. According to Child Welfare Information Gateway, research proves that the warmth in sibling relationships enhance one’s ability to overcome problems. Not getting along with your siblings will never be a solution, nor a revolution in better, stronger relationships.
Intriguingly, Cross-cultural research strongly emphasizes responsibilities that older siblings must contribute to in certain societies. From the information provided, the audience develops an understanding that areas such as the Western part of the globe, contribute to major responsibilities that siblings must fulfill to maximum capacity. Such authorities include helping with homework assignments.
In addition to this information, Family Services supports the idea that birth order plays a vital role in sibling relations. For example, the eldest child, generally, embodies a higher IQ level, a rebellious persona, and increased independence.
Continuing with this idea, the middle child— the mender, possesses a grounded outlook for the family. They potentially stabilize the unsteady happenings while staying on track with their own lives. They criticize you in hopes that you better yourself.
Lastly, the youngest child becomes involved in the portrait. The spoiled one, the one who takes the blame for the mistakes of their older sibling. But most importantly, the one who takes chances to prove their ambitious character.
Steadiness and comfort
Siblings should take comfort that it feels rather reassuring to do life with people who maintain the experiences because they share them with you in order to guide you into not making the same mistakes.
Senior Thesse Key describes the steady relationship with her siblings. Key describes this unbreakable bond by flashing back to an unforgettable summer. She does not hesitate to express her caring soul for her brother.
“For the most part we get along. My little brother is always there for me. It surprises me, because as the older sister I feel like I am the one that should be there for him. But at the same time, I just adore him because he is so overprotective of me,” Key said. “One time, we were at Myrtle Beach and he got pinched by a crab. He told me that if I kissed it it would heal and be better. I’m not even sure if there are enough words to describe his lovable self.”
While some share remarkable memories from the past, life seems like a puzzle with missing pieces because their sibling will take on their own journey one day for others.
“My brother shares so many experiences that he has had with me. I often am surprised, because I’m a girl and he is a boy but it’s like God purposefully made us become siblings. I cannot and do not want to imagine life without him,” freshman Emily Dobbs said. She reflects on the moments they shared and the reflections seem to tear her up. She adds, “If I try to imagine life without him, it would literally be a joke.”
Complications and differences
Alongside with steadiness and comfort comes the complications and differences. The age difference, the distinct personalities, and the ongoing arguments about which child possesses a higher IQ level can cause conflict within relationships.
Junior Sandy Dang, on the other hand, complains about her sibling. She contributes to the dialogue by mentioning that they spend every weekend together.
“We spend every weekend together. Other people usually decide to go out with friends and shop but I think the bond between someone who is related to me by blood is far more important than that. Moreover, my siblings are the only people that I could ever call my best friend, even though my sister claims that she makes better cookies than me,” Dang said.
From the perspective of a mother or father, parents want their children to coexist in healthy ways, though it can often get complicated with conflicting personalities between siblings. Parents become the bridge that the child can follow to balance out the miscommunications and troubles. Ultimately, the bond that siblings share comes from shared experiences.
“My favorite memory of her is the day she was born, basically,” sophomore Dalia Flores says. “The Doctor had told me to step out for a second and I was like, “Oh alright!” and then next thing you know, I hear crying in the room. The feeling of becoming a big sister really hit me when she came into this world. She is so innocent and I love her so much. This is what they mean by unconditional love.”
The emotional bond
My two siblings, Alen and Nadin, established a steady relationship with me at a young age. My life consisted of playing with Barbie dolls with my sister, playing soccer with my brother, and late night arguments about which Turkish soap opera beats the rest. In fact, my sister once told me that the relationships between siblings most drew me to the Turkish series Kavak Yelleri; it seemed to bring an emotional side of me that I never knew about.
The way they cared for each other and the way that they knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths appealed to my inner emotions and helped me develop a different perspective on the importance of bonding with siblings. At the same time, my self-reflections at the age of seven always reflected intensity and though I did not have full comprehension of the meaning of life, I certainly knew the meaning of my own life.
Growing older, I have reached many conclusions. Conclusions that sometimes scarred me from life, but conclusions worth knowing and useful in order to teach a lesson later. There came times where I tried acting like a psychologist for my friends, just to let them know that I support them. They talked about how they hated their sibling because their actions were “annoying.” What I heard shocked my young, interpreting self. People my age, contributed to talking about their family problems and issues with their siblings and it made me question why the language felt so exotic. My family never truly taught us the word “hate,” so the bitter language appeared utterly foreign and I wanted it to stay that way.
I cannot forget to mention that I was taught another version of love. A version that I never even knew existed and so powerful. The support I have received from my two siblings made it facile for me to grow up with feeling the sympathetic intimacy. I will never forget that time I auditioned for Pebblebrook High School and prior to my audition, I cried to my sister because I felt the anxiousness flowing within me.
My heart beat so rapidly that heart palpitations fulfilled the regular rhythm, causing me to shake and feel short of breath. She held my hands, looked directly into my eyes and said, “You got this. The potential within you is incredible and you could achieve anything you desire. Just believe in yourself. I love you, Leda.”
Lessons learned and earned
A thought of contemplation can result in many feelings, and what if the feelings do not have the brightest reflection? Self-reflect and talk to siblings to create important bonds. The dialogue will only help enhance strengths and lessen weaknesses. Remember, even if one feels like the opposite of his or her sibling, opposites attract.