“The Ice Man”

Sabrina Kerns, a 18 year old senior, self-diagnosed herself with social anxiety at the beginning of high school. Most people develop social anxiety around age 13. Based on when she diagnosed herself, Sabrina follows this trend.

Kayley Rapp (Interviewer): When did you realize you had a problem?

Sabrina Kerns: I’ve always known that there was something wrong, but up until I started learning more about anxiety in the 8th grade I always just shrugged it off as a severe case of “shyness.” After I was almost kicked out of pre-school for not speaking, my mother started introducing me to her friends as her “incredibly shy” child, so I knew from a young age that there was something different about me.

KR: How do you manage your anxiety?

SK: I still have not found a wonderful method for managing my anxiety. I mostly try to stay away from situations that make me feel uncomfortable or anxious, which, I know can be unhealthy at times. I also try to prepare for upcoming situations that I know will make me uncomfortable.

KR: Does anyone in particular help you manage your anxiety?

SK: I don’t have anyone in particular that helps me manage my anxiety, but talking with friends helps a lot!

KR: Triggers can be difficult to explain, but what triggers your anxiety the most?

SK: I think that would be when someone puts me in a weird situation without warning. Unsuspected notes from the office saying a have a meeting with my counselor. Anyone asking if they can “talk with me for a second.” Last Christmas, I had to go to a party with my uncle in which I did not know anyone. At one point in the evening, he asked if we could talk in the dining room for a few minutes, and we ended up talking about my college plans in a room full of strangers. The night ended with me having a panic attack in front of this distant uncle that I talk to maybe once and year and him calling my mom and telling her that there is something “very wrong” with me.

KR: So if social situations trigger your anxiety, how do you calm it?

SK: Sometimes I write everything down in a journal. It might not always be necessarily emotions, but sometimes I just describe the tightness in my chest or the sound of my heart beating in my ears. For some reason this works for me, but I have heard of it making some people even more anxious. Sometimes I count down from one hundred and focus on my breathing. Once I watched a spoken word poem about social anxiety, (“Social Anxiety at 130 IBM”) and it was about this boy at a party with all of these people that don’t know him. So he wants to act like someone else. He wants act cool. He wants to be “the iceman.” Sometimes when I feel really anxious, I think to myself “You’re not being the ice man anymore,” and it actually helps. I don’t know why this works.

KR: What is one misconception about anxiety you would like to change?

SK: Many believe that people with anxiety should just avoid whatever makes them anxious altogether. That is extremely unhealthy!  I can’t go all my life without communicating with people!

Sabrina choose to contact the interview over email because of her social anxiety. This simple act illustrates how anxiety affects simple, everyday actions.

Simply Avoiding Their Triggers

Many anxious people hear this common question from others: “If that makes you so anxious, why not simply avoid it?” If avoiding their triggers were that simple, they would simply avoid them altogether. Unfortunately, life remains more complicated than that.

Anxiety sufferers cannot avoid their triggers altogether.  Not only is that extremely unhealthy, their triggers are often found within their everyday lives. A boy with social anxiety may find himself required to speak up in class everyday. A girl with PTSD may pass by the place of her incident everyday. People cannot block everything uncomfortable from their lives. Despite the discomfort, they must eventually face their triggers and learn to live with them.