“Talk until I’m unconscious”

Shelby Scuzs, 17 year old senior, received her diagnosis from a doctor at Ridgefield Hospital last year. Shelby’s doctor diagnosed her with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and for the past year, she has learned to cope with her anxiety.

KR: When did you realize you had a anxiety?

Shelby Scuz: I knew when I was really young because I got so nervous whenever I tried to talk to anyone. I had the privilege of being able to talk until I’m unconscious, so I basically talked until people liked me. I would become nervous about random things. I talk to my dad on the phone a lot when I was younger. Whenever he called, I would get super nervous because I’m terrible on the phone. Sometimes I get embarrassed when I need to ask teachers for help. I don’t know if that’s anxiety or just normal?

KR: I think that might be both.

SS: I don’t know. Just…things most people usually let wash over them or fade away, I would because super nervous about. That’s how I know.

KR: How do you manage your anxiety? I think you told me once you are on medication of some sort.

SS: I take Prozac. Which is apparently an antidepressant, but it works for anxiety too.

KR: A lot of antidepressants are anti-anxiety medications too.  They have double duty. So, do you have someone who helps you deal with your anxiety?

SS: Sometimes I talk to my friend Andres. He understands me.

KR: What is the best technique you have for calming your anxiety?

SS: For me, talking a lot helps because I can just talk about random things to distract myself. I can just go on for hours to distract myself. I don’t even have to be talking to someone. I can just talk to myself, which I know makes me sound crazy. I just feel like talking it out makes it better.

KR: So basically you need to vocalize how you feel to feel better?

SS: Yeah. Basically.

KR: What triggers your anxiety?

SS: Ah…school. Seeing family too, just because I don’t see them often. They are always asking questions. “How’s school? What college are you going too?” Stuff like that.

KR: How do you know your anxiety is flaring up? Or rather, how do you know you’re going to have a panic attack?

SS: Panic attacks for me are different from general anxiety attacks. Anxiety is feeling really nervous. I start shaking a little.  It becomes a little hard to breathe. Sometimes when I get really anxious, my legs start to feel really cold. I don’t understand why. It just feels like they’re freezing all of sudden. That’s when I know it’s flaring up. It’s one thing to me nervous about say, a class assignment or a presentation. It’s another thing to be up at night, thinking in the shower to yourself, “Oh my God. How am I going to do this?” Then a panic attack for me is shaking, hyperventilating, crying, needing to breathe into a bag. I can definitely tell the difference between the two.

KR: So how do you handle the panic attacks?

SS: I have only had a few panic attacks. Since my little brother has always been there during them, he helps me out. He will get my a bag to breathe into. I kind of…I don’t want to say ride it out, but there is nothing you can do to cut the attack short. You sort of just let it happen. The attacks usually last 15 minutes.

KR: What’s a misconception about anxiety you would like to change?

SS: Everyone knows the Zooey Deschanel stereotype. I don’t mean to peg at Zooey Deschanel, but the way the stereotype presents anxiety is like, “Oh! Look at me! I have anxiety! I hate talking to people. It’s cute!” But for other people, with extremely bad social anxiety, it’s like “I feel like I’m going to throw up whenever I talk to someone.” There is such a difference between being quote unquote quirky and having actual anxiety.

The Quirky “Anxious” Girl Archetype

Hollywood tends to present only certain archetypes in media, especially when it comes to female characters.  Only one popular female archetype manages to show anxiety in any shape or form: the Quirky Girl. For those unsure what the Quirky Girl looks like in media, think of every character Zooey Deschanel ever played. This archetype possesses problems beyond the unrealistic representation of anxiety, but the main issue with sufferers remains with the archetype’s ability to invalid their experiences.

The Quirky shows anxiety as something adorable and endearing. They call her “OCD” if she overcleans her apartment, or call her awkward social skills “social anxiety.” The worst she endures are muttered conversations with love interests, or stammered meetings at work when she loses confidence. Neither of these scenarios show how difficult anxiety makes life. In a world that already disrespects anxiety sufferers’ struggles, the Quirky Girl presents unrealistic ideas of what anxiety looks like.