“Drawing on Everything”

17 year old senior Sophia Mackey found herself living with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but found a way to use her creativity to conquer it. Instead of constantly worrying, she channels her worry into her art.

KR: You said you were not quite sure what kind of anxiety you had. Were you self-diagnosed?

Sophia Mackey: Kind of. I have seen a therapist, and they have told me I have anxiety problems. However, it wasn’t bad enough that I had to go see a psychiatrist.

KR: When did you realize you had a problem?

SM: Probably freshman year. Just because it was freshman year when I was going crazy. Freshman year is a mess. There’s a lot that went down that doesn’t have to do with my anxiety. Still. Freshman year is just a blur of emotions.

KR: How do you manage your anxiety?

SM: Whenever I get extremely anxious, I draw. I will find anything. I don’t even care. I will draw on a piece of toilet paper or something. I usually start tapping tapping a lot.

KR: Is there a particular person that helps you manage your anxiety?

SM: No. Literally no one. It’s a self thing. I have to do it myself. I don’t like when people are like,“Just calm down.” Whenever I’m anxious, I just need everyone to go away immediately or I go crazy. I start crying.

KR: What’s the best technique who have found to calm yourself down?

SM: To either A: draw, or B: to remind myself I will be asleep later.

KR: What triggers your anxiety the most?

SM: Oh my gosh. This is going to be a small (read large) list. I have never been more anxious than when I meet a celebrity. It’s a mess! It could be the middle of winter, I will immediately become the sweatiest person on planet Earth. I just start shaking. For some reason whenever I’m going to take a shower before bed, that makes me really anxious. Whenever I’m near someone I find even slightly attractive, I’m anxious. Even if I’m just like, “Wow. They could be somewhat attractive if they were my type.” I’m a mess.

KR:When have you been able to be anxious about a celebrity?

SM: Whenever I go to concerts and they’re there afterwards, I can’t. I just can’t.

KR: But you’re here in Ms. Kovel’s room and they are basically in the lunchroom!

SM: I went to a Temples concert. The lead singer was right there, and I was with Jordan Grubb. She kept telling me to go say hi to him, and I just could not. Jordan just kept telling me to do it, so finally I decided I was never going to see this godly person again anyway. I finally went up to him, and I had a two minute speech planned out in my head. I got up these. I was like, “That was…great…you know…” That was literally what I said. He just said thanks. I knew who they were going on tour with next, so I asked them to tell the other band that I really liked them. Then I ran away. Every Time I have ever met a famous person, it is the exact same thing.

KR: How do you know your anxiety is flaring up, or if you have them, are going to having a panic attack?

SM: Whenever I get abnormally hot, I know I should probably tell myself to calm down. When my hands get really cold but I’m burning up, I know I should remove myself.

KR: How do you handle your panics attacks?

SM: I don’t remember that well, so I guess that means I’ve been doing well lately. I used to go the bathroom and just sit down. I would just blot my face with toilet paper and just sit there and think about how quiet it was. I just remind myself that in a few hours I will be with my cat and asleep. I just remind myself that it will eventually be over.

KR: What is one misconception about anxiety you would like to correct or change?

SM: That anxiety is easily solved. You cannot just tell someone to calm down. That’s not how it works. It’s not like when you get a shot, and you cry because it’s natural. Your parents can’t just tell you to stop being a little brat. Also, it is not your job to fix someone. Give them a moment to breathe. Then try to help if they want help.

A Moment to Breathe

Friends and family members of anxious people often feel responsible for keeping their loved ones calm. If they see their loved ones break into a nervous sweat or actually start to panic, they try everything to ease their loved ones anxiety.

Honestly, anxiety sufferers want the opposite of this happening when they panic. Their minds race, and their bodies practically shut down. They already feel enough inside of them in their panicked state. Seeing their friends or family members panic over them does anything but help. Instead of immediately trying to aid someone in a panic attack, give them a moment to breathe. If they want help, they will ask. Unless they ask however, keep calm and leave them alone.