“I actually tried to convince myself I was just confused”

For NC senior Monica Ruechel, coming out helped improve her life.

Ruechel first came out as bisexual in seventh grade to a boy she was dating. Considering the grade level, not everyone understood bisexuality. Ruechel herself did not even truly grasp the full concept. “I just knew I was attracted to girls in the same way I was attracted to guys,” said Ruechel.

Stigmas exist surrounding bisexuality, including the notion that bisexuals are “just confused” or going through a phase. Ruechel tried to convince herself that she fell into this category.

“I actually tried to convince myself I was just confused. I’m Hispanic, so that’s not super accepted in our culture. On top of that, my family is Catholic, so that’s not accepted in our religion either. I started coming out to people in large amounts over the summer after spending at least 4 years trying to convince myself that I was imagining things, or that it was a phase that would pass. It just never did,” said Ruechel.

Bisexuality remains overlooked in media, with characters who are bisexual being rare to nonexistent. This affects the way people react to someone identifying as bisexual.

“No one really learns that much about what it means to be bisexual, so people have had a hard time understanding it and adjusting to it. There’s always a lot of questions involved with people learning about my sexuality since no one has an idea of what it means. They also try to fit me into some sort of category because that’s what the human mind does, and it doesn’t work for them since an attraction to both males and females doesn’t fit into their little boxes,” Ruechel said.

Not only did coming out help improve Ruechel’s struggles with anxiety and depression, it also helped Ruechel realize who her real friends were.

“I actually lost a really close friend over that. He was like a brother to me and we told each other everything and when he found out, he said some pretty harsh things to me because his religious beliefs conflicted with my sexuality,” Ruechel said. Even though negative reactions could occur, they can still help a person grow stronger.

To some, coming out can seem like an unnecessary hardship. For now, heterosexuality seems to exist as the most accepted sexual orientation.

“People should just not worry about other people’s sexual preferences as long as those people are happy,” Ruechel said.