The events of Thursday afternoon, March 31, 2016, caused NC to reel back in utter shock. The date, surely one for the history books, marked the bloodless coup d’etat by former administrator Stephen Revard to dethrone former principal Bucky Horton.

“This was completely unexpected,” AP European History teacher Gregg Farmer said. “Unprecedented, in fact. I don’t think anybody thought this would happen.”

Nicknamed “the Second Glorious Revolution” by Farmer, Revard deposed Horton while Horton worked overtime to finalize plans for the senior carnival, planned to take place today. The administrator and his horde of supporters marched into the principal’s office and demanded he acquiesce to their power or face the consequences of revolt.

“I decided to do the right thing and step down,” Horton said in a statement on Tomahawk Today early this morning. “I love this school and would hate for it to lose standing in Cobb County because some misguided teachers marched out of school because of one man’s quest for control. I hope everyone understands the reasons for my decision and realizes that I will be back…with a vengeance.”

Armed security guards quickly ended the deposed principal’s speech and escorted him off campus with orders never to enter again. Revard then quickly secured his hold on NC’s leadership, flushing out Horton’s supporters and replacing them with his own loyal followers.

“Principal Revard quickly turning North Cobb into a dictatorship,” AP Comparative Government and leadership teacher Jennifer Biddy said. “His friends are safe, but his enemies are not. I don’t know how legitimate his governance will be, but for now it appears to be working.”

After tightening his hold on the administration, Revard turned to the teachers, sending out a new contract to sign. Stipulations include total obedience to Revard’s rule, mandatory morning meetings every other day to update the new principal of whisperings of revolt, and a requirement to ask permission for every action taken. Teachers not willing to sign the contract were immediately fired.

“It’s turned into oppressive governance incredibly quickly,” administrator Warner Chalkner said. “We cannot stand for it. He’s paranoid because he took the office by force. Now he thinks someone else will too.”

Revard’s newly appointed vice principal, former history teacher Henry Hickler, leads a small army of Watchers to sit through every class in NC every day, to determine the curriculum maintains the accurate standard NC prides itself on.

“We’re considering getting rid of the history and leadership classes,” Hickler said. “It’s too inciteful. We don’t want a rebellion.”

The oppressive atmosphere appears to stifle many, and whispers of dissent and dissatisfaction frequent the halls of NC.

“You wait,” junior Bethany Mack said. “This won’t last long. I’ve already heard that some teachers want to depose Revard like he deposed Mr. Horton. And they’ll have the support of the entire school if they do. After all, the will of the people always dominates leadership.”

April Fool’s, you fool!

XOXO, The Chant