High schoolers struggle to balance school, sports, extracurricular activities, and religious events, but few high schoolers must balance school with writing Grammy award-winning songs. NC senior Sam Smith faces this dilemma everyday.

Smith managed to accumulate a 5.98 GPA over his four years in high school, lead the Sam Smith fan club, become the star keeper on the Quidditch team, and, of course, write his critically-acclaimed songs “Stay With Me” and “I’m Not the Only One.”

“Balancing school, writing albums, and participating in clubs is really stressful, but I somehow manage to prevail,” Smith said.

Waking up at four a.m. every morning, Smith practices his angelic singing for two and a half hours; he sings major, minor, and chromatic scales, writes heartfelt songs, and soothes his throat with five cups of green tea.

After his practice, he must endure an hour-long drive to school, attend school for seven hours with what he calls “those imbeciles, little better than cockroaches,” drive back home, and waste three hours of his precious time for homework. He barely sleeps every night, but he claims talent never sleeps.

“I know very few people can handle the stress and pressure of practicing, writing songs, and touring the way I do. I knew, however, being a singer was my calling. It is coded into my superior genes,” Smith said.

His family, however, does not support his singing career. They feel the amount of time their son spends practicing takes away his free time and from his education, essentially making him a musical slave.

“I love Sam very dearly and I want him to succeed in everything he does. With that said, being a musician won’t do him any good. His singing is mediocre at best, and his lyrics make as much sense as having a birthday party during a funeral,” JoanEllen Smith, Smith’s mother, said.

Regardless of the lack of familial support, Smith knows his dedication and practice will pay off in the end. His talent, flowing curly locks, and intellectual ability will allow him to prevail above the haters and turn into the best musician of all time.

As Smith ends his high school career, he will continue his musical career in college. He will bless his fellow classmates during his classes with his angelic voice and sparkling personality.

“I want, when I leave NC, for the students to stay with me and worship everything I do,” Smith said. “I want for them to petition the government to make every desk I’ve sat at a historic landmark, and for a special copy of my song lyrics to be written on the back of my academic transcripts, the sale of which will be used to fund an entirely new school building.”

April Fool’s, you fool!

XOXO, The Chant