Who better to write about myself than myself? The answer: no one. Coming to the close of my third year newspaper run and my four years at NC, I am taking a minute to reflect on my life thus far and to discuss what I will accomplish next. I ran through my freshman year, trudged through my sophomore year, jumped through my junior year, and  now I fall through my senior year. What next?

Graduation always felt a million years away as a freshman but now, all of a sudden, I am less than a month from graduating and my parents expect me to have everything figured out. Yet, last night I did not even know what I was eating for dinner until 8:30. My whole life from Pre-K and up has been leading to this moment and now that I stand here I am lost. I wait for it all to hit me, the moment when I know “this is it.” This is what I worked  for; the past twelve years in school were just a warm up for the real game I will begin. Everything I completed will not matter to me in the next part of my life. Honestly, I have not yet begun my life.

Looking at my grandma this statement sticks more to me. At 81 years old, my grandma’s doctor remains convinced she’s only 60. She outshines any other elderly person that I know. Does she dwell on things she did in high school? No. She probably does not even remember high school because she already has other memories that are more important, meeting the love of her life, having kids, watching them grow, and then her kids having kids. I have a life waiting for me and walking across a stage and collecting my diploma remains all I must complete.

Knowing that graduation rests upon the horizon turns every outing into a new Dr. Phil episode, where everyone asks about the future. Those questions cause so much emotional distress that it could ruin my night because I possessed no response. I remained unaware of my goals and of my destination and I felt scared. When I would lie in bed, I had to force all of those thoughts out of my head before I could fall asleep. I would have to imagine a wall shoving all of the stressful thoughts out of my mind and replacing them with other thoughts.

Ever since freshman year, I put off knowing where I am going after high school. I could plan every second of what would occur that day or that week but I never planned  past it. It scared me, because the leap from senior in high school to freshman in college proves bigger than anyone would expect. Graduation always felt so far away for so long, but now I am picking up my cap and gown and writing graduation announcements. I feel  excited for where life leads but getting there remains a challenge. I hope to grow into an independent and responsible adult who stands up for what is right, but only time will tell where I will end up in the next five years.

So now that I am graduating I would like to thank everyone who helped me for the past twelve years. To my coaches in softball, Coach Weaver, Coach Davis, and Coach Williams, who taught me how to act tough, to work hard, and to practice to reach my goal because “there is no glory in practice, but without practice, there is no glory.” To my teachers and tutors who never gave up on me and always pushed me to put out the best work I could. And especially to my teacher Ms. Kovel, who remained as my teacher for the past four years. She has stood as one of the most important adults in my life and I am so glad to know her. Without her help I would not be the person I am today. Finally, thank you to the most important people in my life: my parents. They remain the most loving and amazing people I know and I feel  privileged to have them as parents. Thank you for everything you have done for me since the day I was born. Thank you for changing my diaper, for coaching me in softball, for helping me through tough decisions, for making me laugh, and for loving me. You are two beautiful people and I would not be alive today without you.

So as I say my goodbyes to good ol’ days at NC, I would like to thank you all for everything you did to make me the person I am today. I hope to make you all proud of me and who I become in the rest of my life.