In the spinoff of the decade, The CW released its new masterpiece television show Gossip Squirrel on April 1. Following a posse of well-to-do rodents embarking on a new journey after a particularly hard winter, the show blends a coming-of-age drama with the mystery of the gossip squirrel (voice of Kristen Bell), who leaves cryptic messages about members of the scurry.

The first episode delves deep into the drama. It takes place in Central Park, showcasing a secretive and conspiratorial group of rodents. For the past year, all of the gossip in the squirrel community traveled through mysterious sentences, spelled out by hazelnuts and authored by an unknown source. The episode opens with the latest gossip about the most popular squirrel in the community, Nutella van der Forest (Blake Lively), who returned to Central Park from Upstate New York for unknown reasons. Her former best friend, Claire Walnut (Leighton Meester), dreads the return of van der Forest as Walnut envies her popularity with both the male and female squirrels of the community.

Soon enough, new squirrel Pecan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) moves in from Brooklyn, adding to the suspense as the pack tries to decipher the true identity of the gossip squirrel and keep their drama, from nesting together to stealing from the pack’s nuts, to themselves.

The show boasts a smooth storyline, keeping any audience on its toes (or claws). Unexpected twists and turns, while the stakes of the situation begin to rise and each dramatic moment leads into the next, until the episode ends in a shell-shocking finale.

Actors Lively, Meester, and Badgley exemplify the best of method acting in their portrayal of the three main squirrels. Their commitment to the roles shines every time they munch on a nut or hold back a cringe through the thick fur covering their faces. Kristen Bell reprises her role as narrator of the show, successfully reaching the highest pitches and speaking in three octaves higher than her normal voice. All of Hollywood can look at Gossip Squirrel’s stars as idols for the future of the television business.

For lovers of drama and mystery alike, Gossip Squirrel reigns supreme as the perfect form of entertainment. The CW created the show of our dreams, as apparent by the premiere, and fans will find themselves wrapped up in the show and craving the next episode. Anything else would be nuts.
The Chant’s grade: A+

April Fool’s, you fool!

XOXO, The Chant