Yearbook staff hacked, Principal Horton wins all senior superlatives
In his rightful place, Horton poses as Mr. North Cobb.
March 31, 2017
Early Friday morning on March 31, an anonymous hacker leaked the winners of all NC senior superlative categories to the general public.
“We’re very angry. We spent all year trying to keep the list a secret,” yearbook advisor Jan Husband said.
Posting the list on an anonymous Twitter account, the hacker revealed the results, shocking NC students: Principal Bucky Horton reigned over all eleven categories. Horton’s picture will now appear beside Mr. North Cobb, Most Athletic, Most Intellectual, Most Creative, Most Likely to Brighten Your Day, Most Spirited, Class Clown, Most Likely to Take Home to Mom, Cutest Couple That Never Was, Best Dressed, and Most Changed Since Freshman Year.
The Chant reached out to the anonymous hacker about his or her methods in retrieving the riveting results.
“The wall in between the rooms of the 500s hall has all my hacking materials inside,” he or she said. “There’s a huge motherboard and school-wide surveillance system that retrieves all data from every computer in the school.”
Students express their disappointment with the results, taking into account the suspicious nature of the situation.
“It’s obviously propaganda from the yearbook staff. I was clearly the frontrunner for Mr. North Cobb,” senior Emmett Schindler said.
Other students, however, discussed their excitement in the news.
“It’s exactly who we all voted for,” senior Jordan Warren said. “We couldn’t be happier that he won them all.”
According to sophomore and yearbook staffer Harrison Haley, Principal Horton won by a landslide, winning over 95 percent of votes for each category.
“It was clear from the very beginning who the real victor was,” Haley said.
Conspiracy theorists believe the remaining five percent of voters include other nominees for the categories who voted for themselves.
“The hate thrown at Principal Horton is clearly done by the other nominees who are just jealous they didn’t win,” self-proclaimed conspiracy theorist and senior Shelby Estroff said.
After a massive amount of backlash at the principal, Horton dismissed all further questions by tweeting out: “The real champ earned this title. #CantTouchThis #H8ersGonnaH8.”
Horton tweets about his success.
April Fool’s, you fool!
XOXO, The Chant
