In a Tomahawk Today segment titled, Magnet Lounge Movie Makeover, Magnet Coordinator David Stephenson announced that come the end of this semester NC’s beloved Magnet lounge will undergo major construction. The video showed Stephenson in a white dress shirt and a black vest—the classic ticket salesman get-up—standing in a ticket booth as he distributed admissions for Mean Girls.  

“When I was younger, my dream was to be a ticket salesman. I’d read The Polar Express and fantasized about one day being Tom Hanks’ character. Unfortunately, I could never afford a locomotive engineer school. So I settled for working at North Cobb. I made my way up the school line of power and ended up as the Magnet Coordinator. But I have always kept my dream with me,” Stephenson said.

After the airing of the Tomahawk episode, students did not know what to believe. Could this announcement hold a bit of truth? Regardless of whether it did or not, it caught everyone’s attention.

“Usually, no one in my class really pays that much attention to Tomahawk, but that day we all did. I’m stoked about it, honestly. Magnet kids really don’t do that much more than everyone else anyway. Why should they have their own lounge?” sophomore Alaina Ellis said.

No more than ten minutes after the premiere of Magnet Lounge Movie Makeover, one could find massive posters promoting the construction draped across the walls of each NC hallway. From a distance, these PSAs appeared glamorous, but the fine print revealed one major drawback of the construction plan: all funding for the theater would come from student wallets.

“I’m down for the idea of a movie theater in the school, but at what cost? I’m in four clubs and you’re telling me we’re getting defunded? The school already doesn’t give us any money. Now we have to give them our hard-earned fundraiser cash? I did not sell six boxes of World’s Finest for this. This can’t happen,” magnet junior Jericho Wyatt said.

Even parents seem to have concerns about the construction plans. Priyanka Jalos, the mother of three NC freshmen, expressed her reservations about Stephenson’s proposal.

“I sent my two oldest to North Cobb because it was an environment where they would learn focus and dedication. Now that this counselor, or whoever, has gone off the rails they’re turning the school into an entertainment center? My triplets will not be returning next fall. We’re spending our sophomore year at Kennesaw Mountain,” Jalos said.

Despite the enraged emails flooding his inbox and the deathly glares from Magnet kids, Stephenson stands his ground.

“I’ve worked at North Cobb for so long. For a while now, I’ve had this persistent feeling that something has got to change. Within the last two years, our magnet lounge has undergone some fairly drastic improvements in decor, but I want to start from scratch. This is no pretense. I have given everything I have to the NCSIS program—this school—and it’s time for them to give back to me. I have stood by these kids and helped them achieve their dreams, and now they’re going to help me achieve mine. I am going to get this theater and those kids are going to pay for it, whether they’re in Magnet or not. I deserve this,” Stephenson said.

Construction will begin on Wednesday, May 22, immediately after the last student takes their final exam, by order of Stephenson.

Happy April Fool’s, you fool!

XOXO

The Chant