Sophomore Academy planned for 2016


Alex O'Brien

Ground breaks for the new Sophomore Academy today.

Alicia Bush, Editor-in-chief

In honor of the Freshman Academy’s fourth anniversary, Dr. Page assigned plans for regal expansion. Literally groundbreaking news, NC administration hired world class architects to build a sophomore academy. Much like Versailles in size and appearance, the entire construction project will likely cost, as quoted by construction teacher Mr. Squires, “a whole lotta cash.”

“The freshman academy has been so successful for the ones who transitioned through it, you know? It’s clean. So I guess the sophomore academy will be helpful too,” senior Ben There said.

According to Page, the idea sparked after noticing the current freshmen’s grand potential. More seasoned than the seniors, their skill and behavior displays an impressive maturity level that all upperclassmen should envy (and mirror). The speed at which they run through hallways, the volume at which they speak, these students needed a building to contain such personality and spunk.

In a recent blueprint release, the design revealed extremely wide hallways, constructed specifically so every freshman can walk alongside each other and race after lunch. Speaking of lunch, fancy lunchroom facilities require students to wear their best attire, with each student provided a crown and complimentary turkey leg. In addition to top-notch architecture, the new academy includes orchestra students playing symphonic hallway tunes. A moat is still in question.

“Man, the sophomore academy sounds real tight man. Add some TVs in the hallways with Empire playing, and it’ll be real royal,” junior Hedus N. Gohere

Ms. Woosley is gathering a Link Crew 2.0 for the academy. More news to follow April 2016.

April Fool’s!


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