Science teachers form “rock” band, The Unstable Ions


Morgan Brown

Methods and Madness lead singer Julie Hopp screeches out their hit song “I am a Bird Nerd” for her classroom, promising a day of interesting education. Taking inspiration from 90s hair bands, Hopp adds in head banging and enthusiasm. “I’ve got to channel my inner Madonna before I perform,” Hopp said.

Morgan Brown, Advertising Manager

NC’s science department started their own band called The Unstable Ions last month to encourage students to think “science rocks,” and the band released their debut album called Methods and Madness, available on Soundcloud for download and streaming today, April 1.

Lead singer and AP Environmental science teacher Julie Hopp credits her years of schooling for preparing her to take on the challenge of mixing science and music.

“I’ve done the science. The problem was finding my music. I think this is a good way to get students excited to learn,” Hopp said.

The track list includes songs such as “Too Vague, More Science” inspired by the hours the teachers spent trying to push their students to think specifically. With lines such as “I can’t tolerate not just any toxins/ but your neurotoxins,” and “ you’re an endocrine disruptor,” this break out album shows the passion within the teachers and their daily frustrations.

The main attraction of the album “I Am a Bird Nerd,” co written by band manager and AP Biology teacher Jennifer Johnson and Hopp includes 12 minutes of Hopp listing out as many known bird species as possible with four minutes straight of her screaming “I Am a Bird Nerd,”  making it a masterful piece of the ages.

“I love birds so much. There’s fat ones, long ones, smart ones, dumb ones; I love them all. I guess you can just call me a bird nerd,” Hopp said.

Lead drummer and astronomy teacher Grant McDurmon lets his hair down to show the power of the cosmos. Pounding out the patterns of the stars and encouraging students to look up, McDurmon shows his passion for the universe in his detailed drum solos.

“I began my career in the underground scene of ‘Math Rock,’ but I really think this is the height of my career,” McDurmon said.

This album begins a new era of educational music, with the Unstable Ions topping the charts of the [Teacher] Billboard Top 100 list. Overall the album holds major highs in “Eutrophication Scensation” and “The Algal Bloom” which incorporates the talent of the famed keyboardist Alan Gorlin, better known as Dr. G, adding in a futuristic vibe.

Methods and Madness reigns supreme due to the tireless efforts of the science department here at North Cobb, explaining why the masterpiece continues to fly off the school store shelves. Unless you want to miss out on the songs of the season, download today or pick up a copy from Mr. Dennard.

The Chant’s Grade: A+

April Fool’s, you fools!


The Chant