After seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady announced his retirement from the National Football League (NFL) on February 1, the California native pondered his future endeavors. Following a staff meeting amongst the NC football coaches on February 3, the NC Warrior athletic program officially offered Brady a position as the quarterbacks coach. With overflowing talent within the passing room, Brady happily accepted the offer and plans to begin his tenure during the month of April, as the Warriors prepare for their annual spring game vs. the Harrison Hoyas. 

“We are super excited to welcome Tom to our staff. We’ve built a winning culture here at North Cobb, and to add someone as successful as him to that, will just elevate our level even more. Truly excited for Mali, Nick, and T.J. to work with him and get even more lethal,” head coach Shane Queen said.

Brady, a low-rated quarterback out of high school, will work closely with rising senior quarterback Malachi Singleton, who holds a four-star rating on 24/7 sports. Rising sophomore quarterback Nick Grimstead will also receive his time with the ex-Michigan Wolverine, as well as rising junior athlete T.J. Smith. 

“Coach Brady is someone that I’ve watched ever since I was a little kid, and to have him here in Kennesaw is a huge opportunity. I know that there’s a lot of hype surrounding our team going into next season, so his guidance with how to deal with that will also be crucial,” Smith said. 

According to insider reports, Brady received multiple $150 million dollar deals from various teams around the league, and even considered rejoining the Buccaneers after watching close friend, LeBron James, scored 50 points at the age of 37. Brady, who retired at 44, made the tough decision despite wanting to continue football at the professional level. The majority of football fans around the nation highly criticized Brady for going to the high school level, with the majority of people questioning why he chose Kennesaw, Georgia. Brady declined to comment when the Chant reached out to him for remarks. 

“Coach Tom really just wants to be left alone in retirement so he can focus on purely loving the game. He’s given so much to the game as a player, so it’s really cool to see him switch to coach mode. Definitely one of my GOATs,” assistant coach and psychology teacher Tyler Queen said. 

As the Warriors see the 2022 football season on the horizon, the NC athletic program trusts Brady and the vision he holds for his quarterbacks. 

“All I’m going to say is three words: Universe championship incoming. We are going to win the region, state, national, world, and universe championship with him. I can’t wait,” athletic director Matt Williams said. 

April Fools, you fool!

XOXO,

The Chant