Whether cemented through heart-shaped necklaces, dramatic proclamations or contact names in a cell phone, the title of best friend runs deeply in 21st-century pop culture. From the playground to the nursing home, these majority female-centered bonds carry on through one’s life with the same permanence as a birthmark. The omnipresence of these personable, potentially co-dependent bonds owns a severe chokehold over modern media, with a specific emphasis on the genre of reality television (reality TV). Networks such as Bravo TV, Lifetime and the Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS) showcase an array of female best friendships on their screens, complete with the highlights, lowlights and all of the ugliness in between. Although some examples exist that demonstrate healthy examples of female friendships on reality TV, the majority of the unions conveyed to the audience represent negative examples of how to treat a friend intended to last forever.
In recent years, opposition can point to a handful of positive examples of female friendships in reality TV. For example, Katie Maloney and Ariana Madix of “Vanderpump Rules” (VPR) fame showcased a strong bond that inspired female fans after the wake of Maloney’s divorce from Tom Schwartz, as well as the tumultuous events of Scandoval. Similarly, the recent season of “Love Island (USA)” introduced the world to the humor, charisma and iconic nature of the Powerpuff Girls (PPG) trio, which consisted of JaNa Craig, Leah Kateb and Serena Page. These bonds, amidst their moments of tension, provided women with healthy examples of how best friends interact and even created TikTok trends where friend groups assigned themselves as members of the televised friend groups.
Despite the current, positive state of these best friendships, no one union represented on reality TV can come out of the genre unscathed. Within the earlier seasons of VPR, Maloney and Madix experienced friction in their relationship, usually through the influence of their former partners. In that same vein, PPG’s conflict also arose as a result of producer influence, in addition to the input of their romantic pursuits on “Love Island (USA).” Despite the women resolving the conflict, its presence still results in an inauthentic perception of what their bonds represent. Whether through the influence of producers or the transgressions of men, the manipulation of friendships at the hands of external manipulation can provide young, impressionable — and usually female — reality TV audiences with an incorrect idea of how friendships should operate.
“I’ve watched ‘Love Island (USA).’ The depiction of friendship on ‘Love Island (USA)’ seems really caring within groups of girls. I don’t think the friendships are healthy though, because the girls will be very kind to each other and claim to be friends but turn around and talk bad about each other, either to the camera crew or to closer friends. I think that instead of claiming they are friends with someone, they should be open about how they feel about each other,” magnet junior Mia Diaz said.
A predominant open secret in the reality TV genre lies in the influence of production in curating authenticity in scenes. Producers may encourage reality TV participants to initiate conflict out of seemingly thin air and start fights with even their closest friends. The role of story producers in Hollywood, whose job revolves around crafting dramatic storylines for shows post-production, exists to arrange the filmed scenes from the shows to craft an engaging narrative for fans — a narrative potentially rooted in lies. Even though participants on reality TV shows can maintain civil friendships throughout filming, the editorial process of these shows by story producers can shift conversations through re-clipping audio or adding snarky, pessimistic confessional clips into scenes to poke fun at a person. This can create an incorrect perception of friendships that audiences may not even see as inauthentic. Since reality TV shows such as “The Real Housewives” franchise or “The Kardashians usually center around women,” the female participants face the brunt of the poor alterations editing creates; this perpetuates stereotypes of the catty, backstabbing nature that female friends harbor, which does not set a beneficial example for young women.
The framing of male versus female friendships in reality TV similarly illustrates a poor portrayal of female-centered bonds. Studies believe that the maternal instincts or increased emotional intimacy of female relationships show an increased degree of depth for women as opposed to men; despite this, reality TV shows less sincerity amongst the bonds of females as opposed to their male counterparts. For example, fans of VPR have criticized the production for uplifting male friend groups that perpetuated misogynistic rhetoric or actions, which nearly always resulted in the expense of their wives or girlfriends. Longtime stars of VPR such as Tom Sandoval, of the aforementioned Sandoval fame, spent a significant amount of his run on the show yelling at, gaslighting and berating women, several of whom maintained friendships with his then-partner Madix. This resulted in several arguments arising between Madix and the women on the show, which resulted from the effect of her boyfriend’s disrespect. Even the perceived heroes of the VPR male cast, notably James Kennedy or Schwartz, spouted sexist arguments during conflicts with their spouses — complete with myriad alcoholic drinks thrown at their victims.
Despite the higher levels of compassion or empathy shown in female-centered friendships, the edits they receive on reality TV shows do not paint a desirable picture. Scenes showcasing male bonds usually depict the guys laughing, goofing off or serving as the show’s comedic relief amidst the tears or screaming matches. In stark contrast, women carry the brunt of the emotional burden on reality TV, with their scenes nearly holding a candle to the waterworks of the Pacific Ocean. This reinforces the generations-long stereotype that all female friendships arrive with a side of drama — with no exceptions. This can create the idea in the heads of young women that to find true joy in the realm of friends, they should avoid creating a union with members of the same sex.
“Male friendships [in reality TV] usually focus on humor, competition, and companionship. Emotional vulnerability is less common. For female friendships, however, these relationships tend to emphasize emotional depth, but they also promote rivalry, drama and betrayal to create tension. Gender prejudices regarding the interactions between men and women are strengthened by this difference,” senior Bella Arant said.
Creating a safe space for female friendships in reality TV stands as a significant feat that multiple contributors to the field need to counteract. Pushing storylines featuring an increased number of healthy female unions, and similarly calling out the rampant misogyny in these programs will benefit reality TV, and potentially improve the perceptions of female friendships. For the sake of the audiences of young girls with not enough life experiences to know what it means to take care of a girl friend — the genre must.
