Every year, a little green man visits local elementary schools, taunting the children as they try to trap him; however, his harassment has been brought to an end. One of NC’s very own successfully caught a leprechaun, but the freshman has chosen to remain anonymous out of fear of Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy coming for the leprechaun’s revenge. After months of preparation, at approximately 6:07 a.m. March 17, the Leprechaun fell into a trap and has been locked away ever since.
“My hatred for the leprechaun started in second grade, when on March 17, he turned everything I ate green. Not only did I hate the color green, but all the weirdly colored food made me so sick that I began throwing up green. Since then, I knew I needed to get my revenge and put the mean little green man in his place for good,” the anonymous freshman said.
The student began planning months, awaiting the arrival of his archenemy, enduring long nights of drawing up plans that would finally pay off. The night before St. Patrick’s Day, he slowly constructed the trap before hiding it under his bed. After extensive research, the freshman knew he could lead the leprechaun into his room using gold items, and once the leprechaun was in his room, the student felt he would not be able to resist a fat bowl of Lucky Charms. Little did the Leprechaun know that the bowl had a false bottom, so as soon as he stepped inside, he would fall through the bowl and be trapped at the bottom in a pool of spoiled milk. The pool of milk would prevent the leprechaun from escaping as the spoiled milk curds acted as glue.
Since the initial capture, the student reports he has moved the leprechaun into a secure location, where he sits under 24-hour surveillance. The freshman has not disclosed what he plans on doing with the leprechaun or if he plans to ever let him free; however, he has reported that the green man is still alive and will remain so. Up until now, no one has ever reportedly caught a leprechaun, let alone for this long a period of time; so far, the green man has been in captivity for fifteen days.
“I’m beyond thankful I could single-handedly put a stop to this evil little man’s acts, and I know everyone else is secretly thanking me, despite some unfortunate hate. Soon enough, everyone will learn to live in a world without the leprechaun. He may seem all sweet because he claims to bring luck, but believe me, I’ve seen the damage he can do,” the anonymous student said.
April Fools, you fool!
XOXO,
The Chant
