March 31, R&B singer Frank Ocean released his third studio album titled “Rodeo.” Following his prolonged hiatus, Ocean experimented with the new country genre with harmonica solos and throat singing. The album overall features 13 tracks that range from country-pop to country slam poetry, with songs “Lasso,” “Green Hair, Greened out,” and “Alyssa” topping the charts. Lyrics that focus on his inner reflection mention his relation to Harriet Tubman and the struggles of growing up on a Nebraska farm, such as “I say hey to the hay / wishing to see you the next day.” Cowritten with Tyler the Creator, both of the artists allude to their inner conflict with their sexuality and hint that Frank’s hiatus was due to them undergoing the surrogacy process after their wedding. The song “Grace” describes how Harry Styles brutally stabbed their surrogate, Emma Chamberlain, in a fit of lovers’ jealousy and tearfully describes their premature goodbye to their unborn daughter named Alyssa.
“I’m so excited for Frank’s new album. I’ve literally already listened to it 67 times. I’ve seen some people on Twitter, or X — I don’t really care what Elon Musty wants to call it — start the ‘#FrankIsOverParty’ and ‘#FrankCanDrownInTheOcean’ hashtags. I think it’s crazy that people can call themselves fans but hate just because the new album happens to be country. We should really welcome Frank back with kindness, especially after hearing about what caused his hiatus in the first place. We knew about his brother passing, but never about Alyssa or him getting run over by a Waymo. He’s the true Cowboy Carter Murphy’s Law king,” magnet super senior Joe King said.
Some fans express their disapproval of Ocean’s genre shift and note that they didn’t wait almost a decade to hear knock off Morgan Wallen. In contrast, numerous critics voiced their love for his uniqueness of banging on washboards to create beats. Pop artist Taylor Swift has already attempted to copy the washboarding melody technique and steal Ocean’s spotlight, but instead created ear-breaking noise pollution. She released “The Life of a Showgirl” slowed down 3am deluxe Taylor’s edition studio version to top Billboard’s 100. Yet, the blonde showgirl only managed to reach spot 69 on the chart compared to “Rodeo” soaring to the number 1 spot.
Regardless of chart and critic ratings, Frank Ocean has proved time and time again that he holds the rightful throne in fans’ hearts. The artist took to “#FrankOceanEatsFranks” Twitter hashtag to express his gratitude to fans and clap back at parasocial Swifties, noting that his haters’ bodies will mysteriously end up at a backroad and reclaim his throne.
“I first wanna thank everybody who came out and supported ‘Rodeo.’ The love is so appreciated and none of this would be possible without you guys. But for all the Swifties out there, the only thing swift about y’all is how y’all need to swiftly clean your musty bathrooms with Swiffer Wet Jets before I mop the floor and sweep at the Grammys. Let’s not forget Taylor also used to make country music, by the way. She’s a natural blonde, but that bleach is getting into some Swifties’ heads and messing up their memories. Keep hating on me, but don’t be surprised when I hire a BTS fan off Craigslist to go make sure your body really ends up at a back road. Hope you love country music and stream the album,” Ocean said.
April Fools, you fool!
XOXO,
The Chant
