NC’s principal, David Bell, boasts a rather shiny head, devoid of all hair. Whether this development came about due to male pattern baldness or simply a brave fashion choice remains up for debate. The fact of the matter stands clear, his head exists as the perfect canvas for a tattoo. A tattoo on the crown of his head stands to provide him with a personable aura should he choose to have a cat or other cute creature permanently inked onto the surface. It could also serve as a conversation starter between him and any future employers should he seek a job elsewhere at any point in his career (which he hopefully will.) But overall, a tattoo on Principal Bell’s head would place NC among the few other Georgia high schools that can say their administration is really chill.
“It’s like, weird how shiny Mr. Bell’s head is. Sometimes, when it catches the light just right, it casts this glare that is just downright blinding. But honestly, you know what would fix that? A Nyan Cat on his head. I’ve already signed the petition. I really want him to know that he has a majority of the student body backing his decision to do this; it really is brave. But hopefully, if we can get enough support, he’ll follow through with it. Bell tattoos a Nyan Cat on his head in 2026, just watch, it’ll happen,” senior Coraline Jones said.
Bell walks the halls with a rather imposing aura, ne’er-do-wells quake in their boots at the sound of his voice and flood out of their respective bathroom stalls. With that said, to the average student, he appears at the most inopportune times, inciting fear into the student body. A tattoo of a cuddly creature on his cranium would help lessen his intimidation factor towards the everyday student, allowing a large portion of the student body to relax substantially when encountering him in the halls. Given this fact, Bell may need to consider acquiring a tattoo of a Nyan Cat in order to fully embrace his soft, divine feminine side.
While some, including Bell himself, may argue that a tattoo on one’s head is completely unprofessional and would give him a reputation as a goofball, it stands truer still that he is in dire need of an attitude adjustment. This tattoo would allow him to relate more closely to his students and staff by sparking conversation and lessening the fear his image carries. So while haters are praying for Principal Bell’s downfall, this writer only wants to see him thrive, preferably with the Nyan Cat flying on a rainbow on the back of his head.
The number of tattoo owners who claim their ink has sparked conversation is astronomically high. When peers or coworkers see the Nyan Cat on his head, in what world would that not spark conversation? That being said, this kind of ice-breaker would give Bell a greater personability among his peers. By gaining an easier way to open the door for conversation with others, Bell may be able to break out of his shell and deepen connections with the rest of NC rather than hide in his office and leave campus at any given chance.
“I made the petition for Bell to tattoo his head. After posting an Instagram story and doing multiple polls on what his tattoo should be, the popular vote was a Nyan Cat. I’m glad that it ended up reaching such a massive portion of the student body and that it got so much support. I don’t really have anything against Mr. Bell, but it definitely seems like a few people do. Anyways, hopefully it will get to 300 signatures by the end of the month,” junior Hector Lim said.
Ultimately, NC’s Principal, David Bell, should get a tattoo of the Nyan Cat on the crown of his uncannily shiny head. It would serve to increase his personability, open the door for conversation and give students a sense of camaraderie with him. While he may feel silly or face backlash at first, eventually Bell himself will realize that acquiring this tattoo boasts more benefits than downsides. A petition, created by students in support of this brave decision, will be linked below. NC stands in solidarity with Mr. Bell as he begins his tattoo journey, and hopefully, gets a Nyan Cat tattooed on his head.
You can find the petition here.
April Fools, you fool!
XOXO,
The Chant
