NC’s newest and coolest addition: The Warrior Water Park


Tara Anastasoff

Principal Horton unveils the blueprints for NC’s new water park.

Esteban Alarcon, Reporter, Photographer

As new gym and theater supposedly undergo construction on NC’s campus, Principal Bucky Horton recently revealed the real blueprints behind the project on April 1.

“I think water parks are pretty cool, so I decided to build one on campus. The Warrior Water Park is going to be radical,” Horton said, pointing his finger in the air with a smile on his face.

Details of the plan just surfaced, leaving people in awe and shock. NC administrators and Cobb County’s Board of Education consulted the architects in the desired design and style of each attraction.

The largest and main water slide will plan to stand in the center of the sector beside the football field and main parking lot. This ride, cleverly named The Wet Warrior Way, will consist of an exhilarating drop straight into an orange and blue toilet bowl.

Blueprints exhibit an additional water-coaster placed in a similar vicinity of the previously mentioned slide named The Malfunction Junction. Five individual slides going various directions wind up, making a jumbled knot, allowing riders to enter the slide after the school bell rings. This ride maintains the spirit of the school, depicting the chaos in the NC halls between each class change.

“This seems like the most logical thing to do. A quality basketball court, any tennis court, and a functional theater are all unnecessary luxuries, while a gnarly water park is vital,” Cobb County School District Superintendent Chris Ragsdale said.

The Warrior Wave Pool will take up the entire area next to the old theater and main cafeteria. A grand pool generating three foot waves puts the cherry on top with complementary Tomahawk-Floaties©.

Further updates on this revolutionary project will be released in a matter of weeks, leaving NC students and staff on the edge of their seats.

April Fool’s, you fool!

XOXO, The Chant